


His Monthly Pain

by neoqueentitania



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, I'm Bad At Titles, Periods, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, because I said so, nonbinary sinon, period, self-projection: the fanfic (kirisuna edition), trans boy kirito, trans!kirito, we also got some of that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22172053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoqueentitania/pseuds/neoqueentitania
Summary: Kazuto wakes up with his period and immediately feels disappointed that nothing's stopped them yet. At least he has his girlfriend to keep him company while he cries.
Relationships: Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito/Yuuki Asuna | Asuna
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	His Monthly Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Guess what I've been suffering from this week-
> 
> Anywho. My dysphoria is going crazy and Kirito is our beautiful and valid trans boy, therefore, if I'm in pain he's in pain with me. Solidarity.
> 
> Transphobes if you even freaking LOOK at this fanfiction I will stomp you to death with my hooves.

Kazuto sunk onto the shower floor, sighing heavily. This isn’t how he’d wanted to spend his morning, especially not if said morning started at just past six. If he’d slept in later he would have been more awake to deal with this. Then again, if he’d slept in later, he would have had more of a mess to clean up.

He looked to the pile of clothes, now damp, lying on the bathroom counter. He’d put them in the washing machine when he was finished showering. For now, he just wanted to sit on his shower floor for a while longer and let the water distract him from the dysphoria in the corner of his mind.

He washed himself the best he could manage, not feeling up to much involving his body at that moment, then climbed out, wrapping a towel around himself and holding it between his knees. He’d learnt from experience that he needed a towel there, just to save himself from dripping blood on the floor while he dressed or - usually - cleaned.

Once he was confident that he was protected enough to avoid any leaks, he pulled on the underwear he’d hastily grabbed from his bedroom drawers before his shower, then picked up the damp clothes for the wash. 

It was a routine he hated being used to. Every month he’d hope that it would miraculously be different, and every month he’d be disappointed when his period arrived. He’d asked his aunt about finding ways to stop it, but so far, nothing had worked. He knew it would be trial and error, he just didn’t expect this much error.

He sighed, then took his dirty clothes to the washing machine and turned it on, hopeful they wouldn’t be stained, then made his way to his bedroom. He lazily chucked the clothes into the laundry hamper in the corner of his room, then flopped unceremoniously onto his bed. If he was lucky, he’d be able to fall asleep before cramps set in and would - hopefully - get to sleep a few hours before his sister woke him up.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky, his stomach beginning to ache minutes after he laid down again. He groaned, muffling his sobs with his pillow. He could never catch a break, could he? He rolled over, reaching for the bottle of water on his bedside table, taking a sip from it, then dropped it onto his bedroom floor when he tried to put it back on the table.

He paused for a few seconds, looking at the water and newly-appearing puddle soaking into his carpet, as if staring at it for long enough would make it go away. When that didn’t work, he let out a deep sigh, climbing out of bed to pick it up from the floor, putting the now nearly empty bottle back where it was before and walking to the bathroom to get a towel to dry the puddle.

On his way back to his room, he heard his aunt moving around her bedroom, so he knew he had to clean it quickly so she wouldn’t find out. Why was he so concerned about her knowing he’d spilled water? He didn’t know, but he was convinced that she would be irrationally mad over a puddle that would be dry within ten minutes and do practically nothing to his floor. 

‘Stupid hormones,’ he thought as he dropped to his knees, patting the carpet with a towel as quickly as he could to dry it. 

“Kazuto-”

His aunt knocked at his door, calling out to him softly. He put the towel down over the puddle, hopeful it would soak up the water that was still there, then walked to his door and opened it, nearly tearing up when he saw his aunt.

Why? He didn’t know. But seeing her standing there with a look on her face he couldn’t describe, maternal and caring with a hint of worry behind her eyes, made him remember how loving and supportive she’d been through everything, through adopting him to helping him as much as she could once he came out to looking after him through his time in and recovering from Sword Art Online.

“Is everything okay? I heard you crying,” Midori’s voice, soft and laced with worry, was what made Kazuto start crying, for what reason he didn’t know.

“Thank you,” He hugged her, sobbing onto her shoulder. She hugged him tightly, peaking over his shoulder into his room to see the towel. He explained that he’d spilled water, and she nodded her head understandingly, then kissed the top of his head and told him she’d be making breakfast downstairs if he was feeling up to it.

She gave him one last reassuring hug, then left him room, closing his door behind herself. That left Kazuto alone in his room, sitting on his bed feeling miserable. His stomach hurt, he felt disgusting and he could feel dysphoria creeping into the back of his mind - not that it wasn’t always there, but some days like today, it was stronger, less manageable, more soul-crushing.

He found his phone on his bed, hidden under his pillow where he’d left it the night before, and marked the first day in his tracker app, noting he was unusually early and hoping it was a sign that something may have been working to stop it.

He then sent off texts to the friends he’d fallen asleep texting the night before, laughing at Asuna’s string of concerned messages after he’d so suddenly stopped replying to their more serious, personal conversation. He sent a message sincerely apologising, promising to make it up to her when he was feeling better. He didn’t need to wait long for a reply, her sending back a sweet feel better soon message and a GIF of a pair of cats hugging each other, which he nearly cried over.

He finally started getting dressed, pulling on black jeans and a dark grey hoodie, deciding his chest was too sore for a binder, even though he desperately wanted to wear his. He rolled his eyes as he remembered Shino’s cautious warnings about binding, spending more than an hour lecturing him about binding safely, saying they knew from experience how painful it was to recover from binding too long.

He was thankful someone knew what they were talking about, his aunt and sister only being able to explain so much without first-hand experience, but he did feel they’d gone a little over-the-top with details, Kazuto now too familiar with his friend’s description of their chest than he ever wanted to be.

He picked up the towel from the floor, deciding it was drying enough, then put it into the hamper as he left his room, bounding down the stairs like an excitable puppy at the idea of breakfast. He was starving, and he knew his aunt would have a feast prepared for him downstairs.

He reached the kitchen, spinning on the doorframe as he over-enthusiastically took a plate from the counter, singing a thank you to his aunt before he sat down and dug in. Two slices of toast, four pieces of bacon and two eggs later, and he was still hungry, looking longingly at the refrigerator.

“Is there any leftovers from last night?” He asked, pulling his legs onto his chair in hopes of soothing the dull ache in his stomach.

His aunt shook her head, laughing. “I have two teenagers, there are never leftovers.”

Kazuto grumbled a complaint, entirely knowing he was the one who ate the dinner from last night as a midnight snack when he couldn’t sleep. In hindsight, that was probably because of his period, but he didn’t have time to dwell on that now.

Suguha rushed into the room, hastily grabbing a slice of toast from the plate on the bench, saying good morning and goodbye to her family through the slice of bread, her mother scolding her for speaking with her mouth full.

“I’m late, I’m sorry, I love you-”

Then she dashed back out of the room, the front door slamming shut a few minutes later. Kazuto and Midori looked to each other, laughing at how unusually rushed Suguha was. She’d mentioned the night before she had a date that morning that she was nervous about, and Kazuto had heard her up late talking to someone on the phone. He guessed she’d stayed up so late she slept in and was running late as a result, which he related to a little too well.

Still, seeing his baby sister all grown up and dating made him emotional - what didn’t on days like today? - and he felt himself tear up at the thought of her getting married and moving out. He voiced this to his aunt, who laughed and reminded him that she was still far too young to be moving out with anyone, telling him that she probably had the same anxieties about him, which made him even sadder. He never wanted his sister to worry about him abanding her… again.

“Oh, come here honey,” Midori loving hugged Kazuto once more. He knew this was an overreaction, but he didn’t know how else he was meant to react. He was emotional and a mess and he hated it. 

“Why does my body hate me?” He asked, sniffling. Midori felt her heart shatter into a million pieces at the sound of hurt in his voice, unsure of how to answer. He knew he was being dramatic, and he knew his aunt wouldn’t have an answer to the question, but he sobbed and let her hold him until he could manage to calm his shaking breath and wipe away the tears falling down his cheeks.

“I’m gonna go nap again,” he told her, putting his plate by the sink then dragging himself back to his bed, crying into his pillow as he fell asleep, entire body aching in the most uncomfortable way.

It took him a while to fall asleep, cramps making it uncomfortable and hard to find somewhere he could rest. But, when he eventually managed to fall asleep, the pain subsided for a short while.

When he woke up, he found Asuna sitting on his bed, giving him a concerned look. Her fingers were softly running through his hair, which he found oddly soothing. He shuffled around a little, resting his head on her legs and curling his legs into a ball tighter to try and stop the discomfort before it could start again.

“Hey sleepyhead, are you feeling okay?” Asuna asked, looking over him warmly.

Kazuto shook his head. “No,” he mumbled. He wasn’t okay, he was sore and uncomfortable and felt like crying. He knew what to expect each month, why was he still so surprised by it?

They stayed quiet for a while, Asuna not wanting to disturb him, Kazuto not wanting to speak. He eventually excused himself to stumble to his bathroom to check if he had to change anything, then, once he took care of it, returned to his room feeling slightly worse than he had before, not that he felt it was possible.

“Do you want to get lunch together? A walk might help you feel better,” Asuna suggested.

Kazuto thanked her for her offer but asked if they could just stay home, which she was just as happy to comply with. He didn’t want to go out, not feeling like this. He just wanted to curl in a ball and sleep for the next week. Of course, he could expect this to last longer than a week just because nature liked to spite him.

He laid down on the bed again, resting his head back on Asuna’s legs as he tried to make conversation. They spoke about games, new quests coming to ALO, Yui. They spoke about her a lot, and Kazuto could still remember the day he’d told her he was trans. She hadn’t entirely understood, but he’d been sure to explain enough for her to expect her father’s real-life body to be different to his avatar, and his voice to be a little higher, too, though the girl hadn’t taken much notice at all, too excited to be able to see her parents world.

“Do you think we’ll ever have her here?” Kazuto asked absentmindedly as he turned over again.

“Absolutely, I’m sure of it!” Asuna gave a firm nod for emphasis, which made Kazuto chuckle a bit. Then, he fell quiet again, laughter dying out and a worried look across his face. What if Yui did make it to the real world with them, through some form of robotic body or otherwise? Would she understand Kazuto’s situation? Would she prefer to call him her mother? The thought made him die inside. He was being entirely irrational, he knew that. Yui would always love and accept him, right?

“What if she doesn’t get it?” He asked, more thinking out loud than actually posing a question.

In response, Asuna sharply flicked the tip of his nose, giving him an annoyed - yet still adorable - look.

“Kirito, she adores you. You’re her dad, okay? Nothing’s going to change that. No matter what body you’re in our what that body looks like or what that body has. Okay?”

She gently held his hand, watching as he started to cry all over again, muffling his sobs against her thigh. She pulled him up to rest his head on her shoulder, wrapping her arms around him warmly and kissing the top of his head.

“Thanks,” he hugged her tighter, disregarding the pain from sitting up so uncomfortably, “I guess I’m overreacting a little…” he pulled away to look at her worriedly, “You… you still love me like this, right?”

Asuna looked at him incredulously for several long moments, then started laughing, pushing Kazuto away to double over in a fit of giggles, which, in turn, made him laugh too, despite his abdomen immediately punishing him for it with sharp cramps.

“Of course I do,” Asuna managed, gasping for breath as she looked over at him, the pair dissolving into another fit of laughter, “What kind of a question is that? Would I be here right now if I didn’t accept you? I promise I accept every side of you, even the sides of you that you’re insecure about.”

Kazuto moved towards her for a moment, the pair locking eyes, then melting into a kiss, Asuna’s hand finding their way back to Kazuto’s hair, Kazuto’s hands resting comfortably on Asuna’s hips.

They only pulled away when Kazuto felt another cramp tear through his lower half, practically falling onto the bed as he writhed in pain. Asuna climbed off his bed, excusing herself to get him some water and pain medication from his aunt, while Kazuto quietly sobbed again.

How many times had he cried that day? He couldn’t keep track. Probably more than was necessary, and absolutely more than he normally would, but he didn’t care. In a week he’d be back to his normal emotions and normal level of discomfort. For now, he could relax with his girlfriend for the day. Maybe he’d take her out for lunch the next day if he was feeling up to it. That would be nice.

He waited for what felt like forever, but was more likely closer to twenty minutes, for Asuna to return to his room. When she did eventually come back, she had a painkiller tablet and a glass of water for Kazuto, but that isn’t what he noticed. What he noticed was how red her face was and how sheepishly she sat back down. He took the painkiller and a long sip of water, thanking her immensely as he set the empty glass on his bedside table.

“Are you okay?” He asked her, noticing how she shifted on his bed, pulling her legs under herself and leaning into the nest of pillows at the top of his bed.

She blushed, looking at his wall rather than at him. “I… maybe… just got… my period…”

Kazuto paused, then laughed again, adjusting himself on the bed to bury his face in her shoulder lovingly while she wailed at him for laughing at her misfortune. Of course their cycles had synced up, with the amount of time they spent together it was a wonder it took them that long.

He made jokes, to her playful annoyance, then they stopped and cuddled for a while, Asuna’s stomach beginning to hurt and Kazuto’s starting to calm down after the medication kicked in. Periods sucked, of course, and they always would. But at least now he’d have someone to complain about it with. Well, more than he already did...


End file.
